Week 6: Post 1
The position that I think would be the most difficult to change would be the competitive symmetry relationship. In this relationship unlike the others the two people are fighting for the position of power. In an effective and successful relationship the partners must distribute the power between the two of them equally. I think it would be the most difficult because both partners want the same thing. One person in the relationship would have to persuade the other into wanting something else or giving up on what they want. Competitive symmetry is just not something that works well for relationships.
I think the most damaging type of relationship role would be either submissive symmetry or competitive symmetry. In submissive symmetry nobody wants the control but someone obviously needs to be in control every once in a while. I don’t know if this type of relationship can be harmful to either person but it’s definitely not the optimum situation. In competitive symmetry, both people in the relationship are fighting for power and that is definitely not good for the relationship.
The relationship that would be the most damaging to one’s self-esteem would be the competitive relationship. There will always be one person in the relationship that is in the position of power and there will always be one person who is not. Maybe they don’t want to be in a position of power but maybe some people do and that is not always good for a person’s self-esteem.
posted by Eleanor Rigby @ 6:40 PM
3 Comments
3 Comments:
Eleanor,
I read your post and have to say that great minds think alike ;). I agreed that the competitive symmetry is the hardest to change. I think that this is more common in relationships but the hardest to change and I think this is why many relationships do not work out. If you have two people constantly wanting to hold a position that only one can have this is obviously a problem. It makes much more sense to have someone who has a one-up and a one-down. Like you said people should hold equal power but I think this is rare but ideal.
Guys, what do u mean competitive symmetry? If you want to get things done, accomplish goals and be proactive then a competitive symmetry isnt all that bad. If you have two competitive, control freaks in a relationship things get done. I still stick with the rigid complementary because once two people resent each other it is difficult to mend it. The balance of power is off wack and at the point of rigid complimentary theres no turning back. Equal power is unrealistic, each situation a couple is in determines who has what power at that time, it should be constantly changing, like a tether ball game, back and forth back and forth. For example, if my significant other is having issues with his mother and brother or family related issue, its between them. It is not my job to take control, therefore situations and location matter on who controls what and when.
Eleanor Rigby-
Your post made me rethink my evaluation and change my mind a little bit. In my posting I wrote that rigid complementary patterns were the most difficult to change and most damaging due to the unbalance of power. However, looking at it from a competitive symmetry perspective, you bring up some good points. If two people are fighting for power and are equally powerful, than I can see how it would be very difficult to change that dynamic. Although, if one person wins a lot more often than the other, then the loser might eventually back down more easily. I guess depending on the strength of the competitors there could be a never-ending battle for power, or a quick submission by one person. Also, a damaging effect that I hadn’t though of before is the possibility that the two people involved in a competitive symmetry relationship could hurt each other while attempting to win power. This probably happens all the time in the business world- ethics are set aside in an attempt to race to the top.
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